Part I. Death of my mate
Wake up call
RING RING RING.
I opened my eyes and I pressed that freaking alarm button which was about to torture me again. 6,30 am. Shit , I have forgotten my cell-phone in the car.
I try to stop thinking about that crazy dream which was taking care of me during this night. I fell asleep thinking about my mate Mark who did not come for the cinema last night. It supposed to be small group of us and that crazy wanker did not show up, did not return calls, no facebook, skype, viber connection. Simply weird.
“Maybe it is just his revange for the last time” said David and we laughed so badly. Two weeks ago we organised a cinema event and because Mark was always not reliable about the time keeping we sent him to different cinema that we actually went.
As expected he call us back and wondered why is nobody around.
“You stupid wanker” Martin said. “Enjoy the movie” and cut the call off. You cant imagine what a nasty words were coming out of his mouth once he realised it and call us back but we simply could not stop laughing.
Well I shook off that weird dream out of me , stood up and took keys from my car and run out of my flat, took a lift and came to my car. There he was, my cell phone. I did swipe the screen but what I have seen on it just frozen me.
25 missing calls, 10 sms “call me back asap” gave a fresh wake up call. Im dialling number, calling…. Martin…..
” Whats up mate, why am i having 25 miss calls from you?
“Bro I dont know where to start”. -Martin said. (My heart skipped a beat.) ” Its about Mark, he was found death this morning, mate….he is dead.”
“I call you back Martin” – I whispered.
Did I just hang out the phone call which announce that one of my best friends is dead? Hold on, it can not be right, something is going wrong here and I cant breathe. I sat on the chair which was in the front of the courtyard of my hause. What the fuck did I just hear?
” Martin I am really sorry than I hang-out could you just repeat what you said to me?”- I almost sounded like a beggar begginng for a money.
“Mate I am doing it since 04.00 am this morning, already spoken to minimum of 50 people and literally cant do one more phone call like that. I know its unbelievable and I have a problem to realise what has happened as well. Trust me bro , I wish that this morning is just a big, nasty nightmare.”
“We better meet tonight” – I said to him. Martin said that 300% nad than hang out.
I simply could not go back home. I start to walk. Nowhere, without the plan or final destination. I felt like I was fucking dreaming. And than it came. Phone calls, sms, facebook, all technology which brought us a communication during last decade was trying to ask me what the hell has happened and if it is true. After 5th person I just become offline because I could not take it….
“Bro you should seen the face of his brother when he knocked on my door. I was literally scare to death because of his facial expression”- said Martin
We just stood next to each other in quiet place not far away from my flat.
“Well did he say anything more than that?” I replied.
“No mate. He just sluttered something about finding Mark and than start crying like a crazy.” I had to call hospital for him mate”.
” His funeral is on the Friday than? I whispered.
“Indeed, mate, indeed”.
Martin was not even able to shook my hand. Both of us had that empty face expression, staring into nowhere.
“I ll catch ya later” Martin said.
I just shook my head and went back home.
I smoked my second pack of cigarettes today. Never been a smoker but today is a need for that. Still could not believe this nonsense. The black coffin with my death friend just slipped under the ground and wake-up call rang so loud in my head. Direct punch of pure reality just hit my face.
I have realised it and it just brought all tears out of me and I simply felt like a sucked testicles.
My mate commited a suicide 3 days ago and my entire world has crashed apart. Summer was ahead of us and we planned a holiday together and since Tuesday I actually do not remember anything besides that early Tuesday phone call which brought those “news” to me.
The funeral ceremony is about to end soon and I took another look around me. My best friends from high school, classmates and close relatives of Mark(the departed one) are gathering together, empty faces were staring into nowhere and I am literally praying for him but also for the end of this crazy moment othewise I will lost it completely.
The worst view was on Marks family. I could not look them into eyes and I do not know why. It just did not feel right.
I just found my mate who has been out with me and Mark a day before he died.
We had fun, drank couple of drinks and discussed our plans for the future. Mark was so lively, full of ideas, just found himself a girlfriend. After 5th Mochito we promised ourselves that we gonna organise coctail night like that every weekend.
Well here we are. Both of us just not able to say a bloody word staring at each other. There are no words needed. Indeed.
And than all of the sudden Mark”s father final speech finally cut this crazy silent moment and the meaning of his words was something I will carry with myself for the rest of my life.
Ive came home after the funeral ceremony, still pale and crying and just sat at my sofa and open a bottle of vodka. In 2 hours I should be in our favourite place where we used to hang out during high school with Mark and my best mates.
Could not remember how did I get there. But frankly, it was not that bad. Actually it made me feel better. Not the fact that I have seen everyone crying, but that kind of teamwork and discussion between us certainly made this nighmare day slightly better.
When I have finished my 3rd pack of cigarettes that day, my ex-girlfriend has came to me and whispered into my ears : “I am here for you if you need anything”
Not sex, you naughty bastards, that was not the first thought I had on my mind.
Honestly, it could be the 2nd or 3rd one but at that particular moment I just kissed her and whisper: ” I am alright, trust me”.
I certainly was not. But I was certain of the actions I will take in upcoming weeks.
Cant breathe the air in this town anymore. I have to leave…
To be continued
#life #experience #live #truestory